very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
