i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You left your phone here
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