I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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