I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
