Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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