He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
