Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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