Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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