whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize