i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
