I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
