I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
