if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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