he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
