This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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