yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
