I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
