He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
