new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
