So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
