he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How does one acquire holy water?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
