Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
