We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We are two peas in an std pod
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
