The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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