I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
