4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Are we still banned from the library?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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