im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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