Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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