i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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