I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
