That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
