Already got asked if we're dating
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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