She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
