He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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