Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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