that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
