ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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