So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
