im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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