Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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