he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
