I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
