I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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