How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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