i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
