i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
