She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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