You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
