38 yer olds are good kisserssss
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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