how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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